Hurrayyyyy!!!!!!!!

What a great New Year!!! The recently exposed Satyam Fraud has marked the coming of age of the “True Indian”. I think it is only now that we have truly heralded our arrival to the rest of the world. I am not being sarcastic when I write these comments and please believe me when I say I am absolutely convinced about every word I have written in this paragraph and this post.

Before we carry on any further I would like to add that I am a proud Indian and there is no other place I’d rather be born in and I don’t foresee myself changing my nationality. I love who I am and I think as a race, we are great and resilient people. I also think we are born with some defects that are common to all of us and, for some reason, we all tend to think that we are individually insulated from them when we (including me) are soaking in them.

First, our biggest negative trait is, in the words of Russell Peters, that we are cheaper than cheap. As disgusting as it sounds we know it is true. The majority of people we know we can, at some point in their life or other, be classified as having been cheap or cheaper than cheap. In the depths of our heart we also know we have been cheap, cheaper and/or cheapest. But we are not going to talk about being cheap today. We are going to talk about our second biggest strength – White Collar Crime. White Collar Crime: for some reason this doesn’t fall into the category of being criminal for the majority of us. We actually take pride in abetting white collar crime and we have no qualms in talking about how we accomplished it at any given opportunity, even if we have to create it.

I can think of numerous occasions where I have been a part of conversations that are centered around topics like how to evade tax, how to conceal black money, how to convert black money into white money, what the going rate of bribe is to get away with drunken driving, how to manipulate company accounts, how to get fake bills while traveling on work, how to have multiple bank accounts so all your financial transactions are not traceable, etc, etc.
In many of these conversations I have given valuable inputs to those seeking them and they have worked. I also have learnt a lot in terms of new ways to go about hoodwinking the government and also some tried and tested ways that are best kept secrets.

I would also like to add that I know it is wrong but I still don’t classify it as a ‘crime’ crime. I wonder why this is. I would like to blame it on genetics. ??I am certain that more than 50 % of the companies listed on our Bombay Stock Exchange are manipulating their books but it is just that Mr. Raju was unfortunate to have gotten caught. I guess he is just not as good as some of the more seasoned players who probably would have called it a day only when they had reached a point of no return when the company was drowning in debt and there was no way out. Mr. Raju has stepped down when his company’s finances are still in the green and they still may have a way out, albeit, a really, really slim ray of hope. I have been listening to people who follow the listed companies and they are of the opinion that this is just the tip of the ice berg and I agree with them. I think that most of the boards are really good at concealing their tracks and I don’t really think that there will be any more such scams that will see the light of day anytime soon.

The point that I am trying to make is that an Indian IT major listed in the BSE, and NYSE whose accounts are being audited by PWC has been able to manipulate their books for more than a decade even though it has an independent board of directors and even though the promoter is a minority stake holder. I think only we Indians can get away with something like this, for so long. What Mr. Raju has done has raped the Indian stock markets and has created ripples in the NYSE. This is the first time that we have had a global impact through white collar crime although it has largely thrived domestically for about a 1000 years now. It is time we got global recognition for the acutely devious mind that we are blessed with and Satyam has just ensured that.

We are definitely a third world country but no one can beat us when it comes to the science of manipulating the system and finding loopholes that can be exploited and sometimes creating loopholes wherever necessary.

Kudos to the brilliant Indian criminal mind!!

Happy New Year

The last couple of weeks of 2008 and the New Year thus far has been a blast for me. I have had a really, really good time catching up with a lot of old friends and making a few new ones. It is always heartening to sit with old friends and to thank god how some things don't change while simultaneously thanking him for some of the changes that have happened.

The 1st of January is always a good time to access changes in yourself and your friends. You can always compare behaviour from either the previous year or in multiples of 1 year. This New Year I thanked god for how little I have changed where it mattered and how much I have changed where it mattered. I mourned the loss of a couple of good relationships that have become victims of circumstance while I thanked God for the new relationships I have made. I am happy that the last 365 days have left me a more skeptical person than I ever was.

Personally the biggest change, for the positive, I have experienced in the last year is the increase in my ability to question aspects I previously thought were absolute truths and my willingness to change my perspective. I have gone from being the brick wall, sometimes for the wrong reasons, to being a more reasonable human being.

The thoughts and emotions that flood ones mind during a time like this are immense. I want to write about a wide range of topics like hope, change, love, despair, success, failure, etc. but I am having such a hard time figuring out what I am going to concentrate on that I have decided not to write about any of them. I also do not want to trivialize the intensity by writing about something insignificant and so I have decided that I am going to end this post here with the lyrics of one of my favourite songs.

I request you to take the time out to read it completely, I promise you it is worth it. It changed the way I look at myself and when I first heard it about 5 years back and it still does.

For your thinking pleasure:

Wear Sunscreen by Baz Lurhman

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’97Wear Sunscreen
If I could offer you only one tip for the future,sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth, oh nevermind, you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now, how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked, you are not as fat as you imagine.
Don’t worry about the future, or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing everyday that scares you
Sing
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss
Don’t waste your time on jealousy, sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind, the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.
Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults, if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life, the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t, Maybe you’ll divorce at 40, Maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary What ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can, don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Brother and sister together we'll make it through Someday a spirit will take you and guide you there I know you've been hurtin, but I've been waitin' to be there for you And I'll be there just helping you out whenever I can

Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings, they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard, Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, Maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen